bind my heart

bind my heart to the holy interests of that unseen world. - DOPP, John Baillie

S. Blessed are they that have not seen, and yet have believed. John 20:29 - Streams in the Dessert Aug. 31

O. Sometimes God has to keep away encouraging results until we learn to trust without them.

A. I have to learn to look away from myself and trust God alone and then I will see that what God promises He will perform.

P. Father God, help me to put you first. Help me to put all of my trust in you. You will help me do things I thought impossible. Help me believe! Amen.

This fall is going to be full of things I would have thought impossible 5, 3, 1 year(s) ago. The biggest of which is I will be helping co-lead a mom's group at my church and I have to share my story in front of the women in a couple of weeks. At this point I don't even know what that story is or really how to summarize it. Accepting this role has brought about many emotions I didn't know were there. I feel beyond blessed to have even been considered for such a role but then it brings up all of those voices inside my head of how unworthy I am. So I wanted to stop by here today and share what I'm going through. The truth is, is that God has put me here for a reason it is not by mistake or coincidence, now I pray that I believe He will get me through and help me not continually beat myself up and doubt myself along the way. I am so grateful for the moms that have come along side me and that is one of my biggest reasons for being a part of this mom's group. Praying for a year of  meaningful togetherness, growth and support....and that I can figure out what I should talk about and that it makes sense!


early to bed early to rise

A wise writer says, "I look with wonder on that old time, and ask myself how it is that most of the things I suppose my father and mother built on, especially to mold me to a right manhood are forgotten and lost out of my life. But the things they hardly ever thought of—the shadow of blessing cast by the home, the tender, unspoken love, the sacrifices made and never thought of, it was so natural to make them—ten thousand little things so simple as to attract no notice—and yet so sublime as I look back at them—they fill my heart still and always, with tenderness when I remember them and my eyes with tears." - J.R. Miller Home-Making

My bed where she usually ends up in the late morning.

One of my biggest yearnings is for our home to be cozy and inviting. A place of refuge and comfort. A place that gives the children when they are grown a memory and feeling of warmth and safety. Perhaps they will also yearn to be back there some time and make it a goal to give this to their children.

One of my favorite moments is being in a cozy bed with a dim light on reading a book. Some how bedtime in our home has become quite the opposite of warm and cozy. Somewhere along the road we got completely off course and bedtime got later and later and became a mad dash to get the kids in bed. I've known for a long time that it was a mess but some how every night it was way too late again and we were rushing to get everyone in bed. Rushing around and bedtime do not go well together.

Recently we went a week with getting to bed on time and it was glorious! But it was still summer time and somehow we ended up getting back to a late bedtime. A late bedtime (9 or usually later) for our 3 and 5 year old never really mattered because they could sleep in until later. We weren't usually up early for anything so the kids always got plenty of sleep. But I have always secretly wished for a little more down time before I have to go to bed. The plan is if they go down earlier then I will too without feeling like I haven't had a wind down time.

Psalm 73:26 “My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever.”

With the new school year quickly approaching and a new commitment of needing to be somewhere before 9 am Monday through Friday I've vowed to get us on a better schedule. We have a little over a month to whip our bottoms into shape and by ours I mean my husband and I. Because let's face it we're the ones not sticking to our guns. Tonight was the first night of many nights ahead of wrapping up the evening in a calm blanket and slowly moving towards the bedrooms. 

With more time to get to bed things are much more calm. We do not do baths every night and sometimes they are during the day so we start our down time usually with a show (usually Caillou or Berenstein Bears). We like this because it gives the kids one last thing to enjoy, a wind down time and it's easy to see when it ends it's time to brush teeth, the kids understand it and they can't argue.
Then it's pj time, diaper changing, singing songs ( always "You Are My Sunshine" and "Jesus Loves Me"), then story time, prayers, kisses ( always counted for her and usually 19 and sometimes 5 extra), drinks of water and then night night. For the most part they stay in bed even though it is now 2 hours after we put them to bed and he is still awake. We all have to adjust.

Mama is looking forward to an earlier bedtime and getting up earlier. The plan is to get up earlier and get some Bible time in with a real Bible not laying in bed and doing devotions on my phone, which isn't a bad thing I just want to start journaling and making more of an effort, especially with the fall approaching. I'm just really looking forward to coffee, lit candles, pen, paper, Bible and time with my Teacher. Praying we keep this up!

Wishing for all of you a warm evening, sweet rest and refreshed soul.

slow Sunday

The desire to blog again has been growing for a while. I've been debating on starting up again and trying to decide on topics. After not being able to land on anything specific but continuing to feel the tug on my heart I've just decided to write about what's going on in the everyday. The not so exciting day to day stuff.

I feel the Holy Spirit moving I'm just not sure where we're going. I will take your hand in trust and follow you where you want me to go. Even if it's not what I except.

The youngest started off the morning with some counting. He's able to count to 12 on his own and he's working on recognizing the numbers. This little bundle of joy has come so far in his short 3 years. I'm so proud of him and I'm happy he's taking his time because I'm not ready to let go.

The family enjoyed pancakes this morning cooked in bacon grease. I'm on my second round of the Whole 30 so I enjoyed some banana pancakes, sugar free bacon, strawberries and fried eggs. Any form of pancake isn't really part of the Whole 30 program but there are just some traditions that are traditions for a reason.

Eloise, our new kitten is really settling in. We've had her for about 4 weeks now. She has constant companionship and has brought some precious moments to our lives.  Caillou is on repeat most days at my house and this reminded me of when he was pushing his cat around in a stroller.

One of the biggest things of the Whole 30 is no sugar and guess what has sugar in it, everything, seriously and mayo. It has sugar and many other things that are unnecessary. So if you want mayo then you have to make your own. When I first learned this I was a bit overwhelmed, it seems like a daunting task to me. Much to my surprise it's quite quick and easy.

One of my favorite Whole 30 lunches to make is Salmon Salad. The first time I made this I adapted it from another recipe with what I had on hand. It's pretty much my own original creation. The secret to this recipe is the raisins, I know it sounds weird but just trust me. Even my 15 year old took a bite and said the raisins make a huge difference.

Salmon Salad
Whole 30 Approved

1 can pink salmon
2 baby carrots chopped
1 stalk celery chopped
handful of raisins
red onion (as much as you like)
homemade mayo

Mix all ingredients together. Enjoys on lettuce as a wrap or salad or on sliced cucumber.

It's very light and refreshing but very filling.

For dinner we barbecued, which was a great ending to the day. Here I have just a hamburger patty, homemade mayo, mustard, onion, tomato, W30 compliant pickle in a lettuce wrap held together by a toothpick and some watermelon on the side.

We didn't really do much else on this slow rainy Sunday. It hasn't rained much here in forever and today it was storming. It felt great just to stay inside and get some cleaning done and some relaxing. I know I should be living in the moment but I am definitely looking forward to the fall, my favorite time of year.

Rejoice always, pray without ceasing, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you. Do not quench the Spirit.

1 Thessalonians 5:16-19

Pray, Pray and then Pray again.

Here I am o Lord, here my prayer.

Change is on the horizon with the ever creeping fall season. We decided months ago that Hannah would be going to public school this fall and with that brings much change. The house will be missing two little feet running around all day, it will be quieter and both of us will gain a little breathing room in different aspects.

Danny will still be at home and I'm looking forward to spending some one on one time with him. I just realized that I got to have Hannah to myself up until she was two and now I get to have Danny for two years to myself until he heads off to Kindergarten.

I'm trying to spend this time preparing for the fall, reflecting on how far we've come, soaking up the summer with these little precious people and peaking over the horizon to what is next.

Change is coming as it always is and all I can do is pray...pray pray pray.